How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize