I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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