and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
