I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Betty ford says i'm here all night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
