I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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