By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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