The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
