Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
