Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize