I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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