I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a search helicopter?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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