took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
