If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
no more duck duck goose at the bar
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
