My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize