I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
