Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
