No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
