no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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