Just cropdusted the office
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
