saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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