This girl is more easily done than said...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
