glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize