i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
