Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
