I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
