Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
ugly people sure do ruin things
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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