You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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