Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
