Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
