plz talk dirty to me
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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