no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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