dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
