Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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