I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
