You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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