addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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