You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
