Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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