Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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