It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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