I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i think i just lost a toe
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