just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
