so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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