Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
