you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
