He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
