Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
