you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sacagawea was the original milf.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
