Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
