My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
