She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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