How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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