Swine flu is the new snow day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
