it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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