stop calling my apartment porn island.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
