..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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