he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
