We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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