my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
