I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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