Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
