p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
