Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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