ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
