Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
