can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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