something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
