the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
